Conversations with self

Life is full of choices. Your choices can be good or bad. It can be of help or worsen the situation. I make decision everyday from what I wear to the things I do before I sleep. Guess what? Most of them are hard choices, especially those of the heart. I don’t know if they are right or wrong but I have to live with them. i guess that’s what comes with free will -  the consequences. We are free to do what we want but we cannot choose what will happened. I am so afraid of the effects of the decisions I made sometimes I forgot that It’s still my choice on what will happen to me after every storm. We can either come up to be better than who we are or just the opposite. So I’m writing this to remind myself to live with it, mend things that is still mendable if not learn to let go as long as I have tried everything. I'll end with a quote I come across today "Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain".  Bye :)

Juz a few rants.. ;)

I don’t have all the answers, I’m not confident all the time, there are days that sometimes you just feel weak, and your worried that any event today could cause you life to come crashing down ( overreacting).  These are those moments that we need to remind ourselves that “It’s okay”. Argh! but isn’t it hard? They say it gets easier every time with practice. So to do for myself, practice refocusing my mindset. Focus on the things to do that could make a difference and stop worrying about things we don’t have any control. Accepting who I am is something I can do to make a difference in my life instead of worrying if other’s can accept me. Are you with me on this? So easy to write about these things but difficult to do since I have this shell and I’m comfortable in my shell. But that’s just it right? I need to go out from my comfort zone.

Happiness

I am happy. I guess it started with the guy in the elevator who suddenly just greeted and talk to me even if we don't know each other. That was a nice way to start the morning. And then I stumbled on a quote by Abraham Lincoln “I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound for success, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.” Totally absorbed it, its like the Arbinger training we had on “Anatomy of Peace”, you’ve got to have peace with your way being. Instead of being someone else we are not, lets be who we are coz that’s how we shine.

A realization

Today, I didn’t realize it but something is slowly changing within me. I think writing on this blog is the starting point of the realization of what happiness is for me. Maybe I’m getting old that it just didn’t matter as much as yesterday. The want to fit in with the crowd to know/ feel where you belong.

I got tired of feeling sorry for myself ‘coz I know deep inside I’m that good. Sounds not very humble of me, right? But hey I can say the same thing of you :) You are good. You are meant to do great things so get up and stop worrying about what others think (they are also worried what others think, its like thinkception ). Honestly I still have those feelings, but its much easier now since I don’t get suck in to that hole. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m enjoying this journey of mine. I am amaze of the happiness I felt when I started writing. (Thank you for reading btw.)

I think its the freedom that made me happy, the courage to take the first step (in my case , my first article). For all those years my mind keep putting it off. ARgh! mind your holding me back. But thank you mind for opening up things I thought not possible in the past.

When you think about it, you and me are not that different. We have similar journeys and fears to conquer the difference is in the actual battle. Lets be great together! Lets be happy :) 

The want to change

I always wanted to improve myself, be better in what i do, be rich and all those good things. Who doesn’t? I used to think that maybe this is where I should be (It’s nice here its comfortable. y’know). All those articles in the internet about from rags to riches stories, pursuing their passion and coming out of it better. It keeps bugging me , as who doesn’t want to be successful in life. So just one day i got tired of all my excuses about being busy and just started to read a book. Honestly there was no goal I just want to do something. And as the quote goes “Finishing last will always be better than not finishing which is way better than not starting at all”.